Jacks

Sunday, February 28, 2010; Stress

Alright. A proper post ya. So recently feeling very stress and fucked-up.
Feels like the whole world is trying to harm him.
Worried about tons of stuffs.
Not writing here.
Plus no one is there for him.
Worst than no life now.
Nevermind! He will think of something.
Afterall, there are people always far worst than me.

Surprising, he thought of going back ccss play bball.
Is that good or bad.
There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
So if I think it's good. It's good.
But I can't decide on one. Damn!

Second thing that he thought of. Sucky.
Finding another job. Anyone has lobang?!

Let's see. The third one. Continue think of new ideas to approach her.
However thinking and doing is two different thing.
I dare to think. I also dare to do. But I have no confident.
I know le. Maybe because I already know the result.
And no one to push me this time.

That's why I don't even wanna try.
Am sure that the general accepting it is a yes yes.
Anything more is a no no. It's fun. Definitely.
But my mood is fucked around every single time.
Freak. What more, human's greatest fear.
Heh no need say here also know. I hate part of me.
Again nevermind! Will think of something.

Anyway I have recovered from my fever 100%.
Don't want type anymore.
Now some photos of myself!
And final thing. I want my hair to be longer!!!

Oh yeah! Notice it's a mirror.

Love this. Myself, not the snow ice.

My cousin extremely cute. Ran in all of sudden.
He thought his turn to snap. On the far left. Cute max!

If every "Nevermind" I type is escaping.
I am doom... Wahaha! Crap. How? How?

Saturday, February 27, 2010;

Scare...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010; Motica

Need motivation.
Found it. Through blogging.
Will only edit this post.
At least for now...

Last year cross country
East Coast (2.3km) - 9 mins.

Aim
Run 6 lap (2.4km) bedok stadium - 9 mins.

Now 23/2/10
Run 6 lap (2.4km) bedok stadium - 12 mins 30 second.

And 24/2/10
Morning went to school.
Evening went to do odd job.
Didn't get to run. Damn!
Hahah work not for the sake of money.
That's me!
What he said isn't wrong.
But it does not means it is right.
Oh my. What should my next move be...

And 25/2/10
Should collect my remaining salaries. About $200.
Then finish up the work that is left behind.
After should RUN.

See how pathetic this is. Omg...
But my knee start to have problem also le.

So worried after knowing my friend kena le.
Wish that you will recover real soon ya.

Looks like I have to endure mine too.
Afterall, it is minor. I hope.
And loss some fatssss!

frozenstar...

Monday, February 22, 2010; Doing's

Trap in my own soul's lies.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010; Motivation

Everything that I do. I do it alone. =)

Xing Xing! So sorry packaging sucks. Rush like mad. Just never tell you.

Today was great. Afternoon wake up.
Went for lunch alone. Saw my friend "Derrick".
He commented this "Eat alone arh. So sad.".
FUCK. FINE.

Mom and Dad went out.
Alone at home watch drama till night.

Even better. Time for dinner.
Went for dinner alone. Order food from auntie.
She actually said this "哦，一个人啊。".
FUCK. FANTASTIC.

Happy Alone Day! Jackson Toh.
Great... I am fine. Still alive. Phew... Up till now.
Am still alone! Congrats to this sixteen years old boy.
Which is classified "won't die alone". Haha. He might die alone.
But the meaning is that if you leave him alone, he won't die. Lol!

Sad. Thanks to green tea. I force a smile while back home. =)

Was so bored I decided to took picture of myself.
And to upload it! Wahaha... Had fun with my hair.

PS.
You will never see my hair like in the photo.
Because of wind and SWEAT. I will sweep it to one side.
Therefore, causing my hair to be always messy. Sad huh.
Unless Singapore is Air-Conditioner in every place.

Don't pity me please. Thanks. =D

Monday, February 15, 2010; CNY&V-Day

Happy chinese new year and Happy V-day.
Updates finally from Jackson. Recently kinda lazy to blog.
Just feel that not a lot people read bah. No need read also ma.
Because the important peep know what I am doing everyday.

Anyway 13 Feb. Night went Shaun's gig in the night.
More kindly go to HuiWen's blog.

And 14 Feb. Woke up early, went to mom's mom house.
Of course, then to my dad's mom house.
Finish playing cards, went back home.
Went out watch movie with bro.
Even more suck-ey stuffs happen. Wthf. Irritating. Hate it.
Reach home bath use com. Sleep quite late.

Finally 15 Feb. Wake up early. Slept like 4 hours?
Head pain like retarded. Watch a bit of drama.
Went out watch movie at Marina Square with family.
Then to floating platform see see. Went back old house visit.
Reach back home and head to bro's friend house play card.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Anyway 16 Feb. Going to Mdm See's house and visit. 2pm.
Hopefully won't oversleep. Night peep. Until next...

Love it if it is simple. But why is it so complicated...
I get it. Because love is complicated! So might as well fuck it. =)

Saturday, February 13, 2010; Hah

Don't think I will be happy when things happen.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010; Happy

Happy 18 slash it. Happy 16 birthday Janice Sok Ansopanha!
The one who mess up my name. And give me the name ah xing.
I won't post a photo of you larh okay. But I will post a drawing for you.
I tried my best. You should know I bad with colours.
Done by Jackson! Omg not very nice. Sorry. ><

Hope you are happy. And will remain happy.
And of course always happy. How to do that.
Jackson will be here for you! Feel free to call or msg me okay.
And I won't tell people you never lalala de okay!
Hahahaahaaa! Wth... ^^

Wish that your wish will come true!
Being honest to you is so easy eh. =D

You'll be in my heart. <3

Tuesday, February 9, 2010; Committed

Here to post again. Mmm, recently things are fine.
Just had this feeling that some things are sort of unfair.
Put in my best effort of doing it. But the result are just okay.

Hopefully I can stay committed and do more crazy things.
Being really ultra lifeless ever since I stop working. Damn.
However for sure more happier. That is something can't argue.

My days are great. With little things to care and worry about.
Haha. Few days back I told my mom this.
"eh mee, i abandon spec, t-shirt, collar shirt, short pants,
jeans, long pants, running shoes, bball shoes, accessory, laptop,
iphone, overseas trip, all throw away le, the should buy things"
But I am not disappointed at all this at all. Sooner or later.
Guess I choose it to be later.

I know. Weird right. The right feeling is not there to buy all this.
But there is definitely one thing Jackson didn't give up and abandon.
That... only Jackson himself know in his heart. =)

Trying not to disappoint you...

Wanna be brave. You better be too... I'll be here! >_<

And and and create this shit.
Feel free to ask me anything there --> http://formspring.me/nanxtoh

Friday, February 5, 2010; Conversation

This is a conversation in facebook between :
WeiJie (my npcc sir)
Eugene (stranger)
Nuur Shiddiq (stranger also)

WeiJie :
It's not wrong to give it all for love;
It's not wrong to love a person so much..
As long as you're willing..

Eugene :

Sacrifice to love someone,
Fortunate to be loved by someone.
That person you love so much is so fortunate. She's a lucky girl.

WeiJie :
Yeahh.. God send me to her..
To watch over her and make her happy..
And hopefully she knows it..
Rule # 1: Always make her happy.

Nuur Shiddiq :

Unless you know you are fighting for the wrong cause..
Let her go if you know her heart belongs to someone else..
If you love her.. Let her go.. If she Loves you..
She will return without you hinting or telling her to do so...
Poem by : Ling Ah Ling...

Nice!... Damn happy lehhh! =)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010; Smile

It doesn't matter. I'll be fine.

Next post. When I feel like it.

Hais

It doesn't matter how many people are online in msn if you are not online.

Monday, February 1, 2010; Airshow

Firstly... Fuck airshow! Now working inside exhibition hall for some missile company, MBDA. As expected... Gonna work everyday till 7th or 9th. Everyday wake 5. Everyday end 6. My boss is strict and at the same time kind good to me.

He said this to me today that strike me very hard. 做人要发出内心. Fantastic...

Haha... So okay. Fine. So what is my heart really wanna be. In front of so many fucking people, my attitude all different. To my mother, my father, my brother, my relative, my brothers, my ballers, my best friends, my boys type of friend, my girls type of friends, strangers and everyone I know. Each and everyone, I dunno who am I. So how the hell do I express my heart. Anyone mind telling me who me?!

Talk about split personality... This sucks... 内心. Feel like digging it out have a closer look.