Frozenstar
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Thursday, January 28, 2010; Bbq

Here to blog. I might be mia on certain days. Not too sure yet. TT

Sat de 30th. I'll be working 11am till 1130pm.
Sun de 31st. Mr.Tan is treating my ex-class. Dunno timing yet.
Mon de 1st. Chai Chee having another bball match.

Tues to Tues de 2nd to 9th. High chance working everyday for airshow.
The most important part is here. I have to wake at 5am.
Yes... 5am. Not a fucking typo. Even earlier than students life.
And the even more sad thing is. I have to rush to orchard by 645am.
And and the even more sad thing. Am working until 630pm. Shit...
The poorest thing that is gonna happen is. High chance working everyday.
Haiz...

Weds de 10th. Taking my paycheck of 800 buck plus.
Thurs de 11th. No plan for it. It's someone's bday! Double T.
Fri de 12th. Going Shaun's concert. Who wanna go with me?
Sat de 13th. Give me a break!
Sun de 14th. Chinese New Year plus Valentine day.
Although V day not important to me.

Good chance for me to ignore everything.
Live in a world of alone like I do for everyday.
Now know my plan for almost everyday.
Kinda sucks huh. Knowing everyday so sucky...

Talk bout today. Morning still sleeping I think.
Only remember few msg. And that's all.
Whole afternoon watching Momo love.
Evening time went to play bball at coach area.
Midnight watch Momo love again. Now at ep 10.

Great. Now this post fucking long till I lazy read also.
Whoever really read finish leave a tag arh. Thanks.
Hopefully no one read so they won't know I gonna have a sucky weeks.

Definition of dream.
- a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep. (Yep)
- imaginative thoughts indulged in while awake. (laugh)
- a cherished desire. (Lol)
- a fantastic but vain hope. (Haha)

Alright. Ending this post with. Goodnight peep.
Someone sleep without saying anything. Good!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010; Sixteen

There this small boy that keeps everything to himself.
Having no one to talk. No one could understand.
The thing is. He don't even dare to say hi.
Always pretending to be smiling.

No matter what happen.
That's hard. Very very.
Still he keep trying. =]

He really wanna be that brave little courageous boy in his dream.
But that's a dream and he know it won't happen. =]

Wow this is fucking emo. I admit. Fuck this man!
Damn I need to play bball...
My mind keep drifting apart... =.=ll

Tuesday, January 26, 2010; Ren


There are different kinds of endure.
For me. Is the common one.
Endure loneliness!
It's pretty easy.

Monday, January 25, 2010; Phew


The music video I said in the last post!

Drama's music are somehow nice! =D

25 January...
Sent a message in the morning, then somehow fallen back asleep.
Then afternoon went to buy food for my mother. And myself of course.
Eat lunch then played Bayonetta. Am sure that one more day will complete.
Evening went to Tamp with my mother for dinner. Saw some chaichee-ian.
As usual, night use com. Watched drama "Autumn's Concerto".

Feel like a new born baby. That's good! ><''

Sunday, January 24, 2010; XueHai

Omg! It's 4am in the morning...
Damn! Haha still gotta blog about 24 Jan.
Because I had a dream...
The content only one single person know!
Hehe. First time I remember my dream so clearly.

So today, wake up afternoon went to grandma house.
After that, went back home then simei to find my mother!
Went back home to play Bayonetta. Gonna complete soon.
Finally, msn with ex-classmate, use facebook and view blog.
Follow by drama "Hi My Sweetheart". Thumbs up!
Freak next week last ep le... Kinda sad. But happy.

People say that whatever happen in a dream,
It will not happen in the real world.

So I shall sleep now and hope I dream again!
Night peep!

post music video later. =]

Saturday, January 23, 2010; Double T

Last night was just a bad nightmare.
No one needs to know. No one will be there.


Hehe I posted one song as well!

Negative stuffs keep happening. I keep taking it in.
I can't control it. I can only accept it. Therefore no complains.
Damn... I am losing everything. Everything! Funny...
And one last thing. Jackson Toh hate money to the max.

Number has increase to 800. It's my paycheck. =)

Friday, January 22, 2010; Heh

Snow has melt into something i can't embrace on to. =D

Thursday, January 21, 2010; Pass

Ever had this feeling that you thought things could go back to square one.
But you found out that the other person is at square two long already.
Worst know that the things needed to bring the person to one is gone.
What's even more troublesome is there's no way you could jump to two.
So basically it is a lose situation and you will definitely lose out.
A single photo could change a hundred thousand million billion things.

I will continue my life. Even through it feels so stranger nowadays...

So be it. =)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010; Fun

Back from Batam! Overall it's fun. First day met up in the early morning and head to that bastard island. Upon reaching, we went to some local places, then eat lunch, played go-kart and flyingfox, went to shopping mall for pool and arcade and finally proceed back to hotel.

Had free time in our rooms. Until night time, went to eat dinner. Played pool again, and went to eat supper, Ayam Penyet. Goddammit I finally know how to pronoun Penyet! After seeing the spelling... Walked back to hotel and played cards after.

And continuing. Second day wake late morning for breakfast. Played table tennis and went to another shopping mall. Watched Jacky's movie, one dollar and fifty cents. And the standard is the exactly de same as when in sg. Take boat back, ate dinner and return home.

Time now is 3am. Just watched finish Autumn's Concerto. Tomorrow maybe will start on Momo love. Air finish already I think that drama. Tomorrow plan is to wake at afternoon and head for Chai Chee match against Bedok Town.

Lost my focus and didn't know what to aim and head toward for... Can't continue this anymore... Can't begin this also... Can't end this also... What can I do. Nothing! Anyway I gonna offline and sleep now!

Troubled...

^^

Sunday, January 17, 2010; Ten


It all started with this thing call "basketball".

In another 10 more days. I will know the result of the poly admission.

Today... Nothing much happen. Except I finished Modern Warfare 2 story.

When thought of the past, there's no such word call "fault".
Because it's neither's.

When thought of the future, there's no such word call "forgive"
Because neither's at fault.


If only it's that simple!

Blanked mind... =D

Friday, January 15, 2010; Period


11/1/10 (seafood meal)

12/1/10 (that's my hand)

13/1/10 (Stare at this for fuck)

14/1/10 (Food equal japanese)

Realise there's only pics. Not much words.
Thinking... Wondering... Realising...
Every words strike me. Strike everything.

So tomorrow.
Morning campcraft at 8am until 2pm.
Afternoon book Batam ticket.
Night work at 7pm until 1130pm.

Donut... ==''

Feel like a noob in everything. This sucks... =]

Tuesday, January 12, 2010; Courses

Afternoon post! Haha... Recently busy until no time use com. 11/1/10. So my Os is fine. Don't feel like talking about it. So next! Celebration with my best buddies. Went to eat Sakura at Downtown, played arcade and pool. Cab home alone.

And the fucked up. 12/1/10. Morning what happen. Only people that know knows. Walked for one hour and ate breakfast. Well went down to Singapore Poly to check out the courses. I wanna go in! Anyway went to play pool. Then went parkway eat snow ice. Dinner, went home drama and anime!

Today the. 13/1/10. Morning was still sleeping until tp people called me for the course I wanna go in as first choice. Last night was filling all the particulars like mad. And today they called me! Fast and efficient! Scared me. So it's worth it. Probably going there for interview. Hopefully I do good! Pray for me!

Ermm. Since up here le just blog all the way till end of week bah. 14/1/10. No plans or activity. Maybe stay at home. Or find people go out.

And let's see. 15/1/10. Afternoon 2pm Chai chee will be playing in East Zone Competition. And deadline for Os submit courses. Have to decide by then!

What else. 16/1/10. Working in Swiss.

Last but not least. 17/1/10. No plans or activity. Maybe stay at home. Or find people go out.

That's all! Wish me luck people!

Saturday, January 9, 2010; Fat

Today I realise something more about myself! Why I am behaving like the Jackson now. Reason, a little bit too bullshit but hey it's my blog. I choose what I want to type! So want to read read, dunwan too bad. Haha! To say, I am very proud of myself! From past to the present.

Hehe... Basically, last time de Jackson is fucking fat and very very short. Everyone I know knows that. And no one wanted to make friend with him. I mean who will right? A little boy that looks retarded, with specs on. You dare talk to him? He wanted people to take notice of his existence, not just another pillar in school in class. What did he do then?

I remembered him deciding to be brave. To be action in everything, to be proud in everything and not humble at all, to be arrogant, and finally to be the best of everything he do. The primary school him is real bastard, trust me. Taking any chance to speak and boost about his good. And the secondary school him, he wanted people to regret and feel jealous of him. This is very serious of me typing this. But I lay lower during secondary school.

Haha enough of my unusual post. Okay summary of what I done today. Went to Leung's house, went tp, drama, bro's supper, drama. The top post is like that because of this! I was communicating with stranger as if I was friend with them at tp. And Ming, one of my 8 years buddy said this. "Eh you know him arh, I think before you enter this school, half the people know you le". Haha. Make me think of all this shit!

Thanks to the stupid old me to have this habit. Anyhow talk to stranger as if I know them. This is also a reason why I had encounter with a lot of funny stuffs. And ya, number became 610. Real slow but well it will increase as time goes! Let's see, what else... I might be studying in Singapore Poly! High chances. Haha. No longer Temasek Poly. Oh! Tomorrow working at Swiss. And done with Autumn's Concerto! Have to wait... Damn!

I will stop wondering... I will get over it... I will gonna stop...
It doesn't matter how people treat me anymore... I will accept it!

Friday, January 8, 2010; Poly

And yet another summary! Morning wake went Tp open house then to Sp open house. Tp got the course I want. But I know it won't be easy... Nevermind continuing, went to Outram Park, then to the Furama hotel over there. It sucks, it really sucks. Don't want to talk about it. So after went back Bedok had my dinner and tata home bath drama sleep!

Time now is 330am and tomorrow have to wake at 7am to go Npcc campcraft training... Awww crap for sure zombie over there. Nevermind, should be okay. Afternoon blank. Night time my bro say wanna bring me out. Surprisingly I have no idea where we two can go. I mean we never really went out tomorrow before. Haha.

Oh did I mention, Chai Chee ballers will be playing against Bedok Town Sec, Bedok North Sec, JunYuan Sec, Siglap Sec and finally Dunman Sec. It is not in order. Haha. First match Thursday at Anglican high school.

And yep! Biggest news for me currently. Will get my Os result on Monday! How I hope and wish that tomorrow is Monday. Haha a bit over confident arh me. I know myself so yeah! Weee... I remember saying this, if I so stupid and dumb hit 20 or above points I jump into school pond. And obviously it won't happen. And the first phone call I will make. I also remember that!

I have seen the clock at 1.11am and 3.33am today. Wondering lot of things. Shall keep with myself through. Haha. Night peep!

Am I being forgotten... Lol. Those word... Haha.

Some photos of me and random!
Less than 5 of me. So it is counted as some!

Firstly my idol! No need intro le.

And this three fuckers. My best buddy!

Haha Ribena is sugar! Sweeet...

Clothes at Chinatown Furama. Sucks!

After bball! Drank super thick milo to recover!

Now this! Outram Park Furama clothing. Mann I like my hair!

Loving myself huh! Weeeee..... Freak after uploading time become 4am.
Wonder if time could go anti clockwise... Hahaha... Crap. Night motherborn!

Thursday, January 7, 2010; Hah

Don't feel like blogging about 8th of January... So shall summaries ya. Cut hair, computer, bball night game, drama. No point breaking into smaller details...

I wonder... I really hate myself when playing bball. Why can't I try to perform as well. I just didn't have the chance. I pass the ball and run back. Got blame as well.

Well, I blame myself for not taking the chance. Someone tell me how to be point guard. Maybe talking and shouting is the solution. Screw it and have more confident, Jackson ex#4!

Realise a lots of things over this few months. People really do change me.

Hey time now is 333am. I mean when I look at the computer time. Will think of someone. Haha... You know who. One day 24hours.

There is only 1.11 2.22 3.33 4.44 5.55 followed by 11.11 to think of that person. I mean to specially think of it. Will also think of occasionally when random. There is no 6.66 7.77 8.88 9.99 on the clock, special take note. =D

Wednesday, January 6, 2010; Popopo

Hah title just anyhow type. No main title huh. Today! Morning went out to eat breakfast and buy house stuffs alone...

Afternoon went to Bedok Mac meet part of 4eb. Shortly after, they went to Bedok ktv and I went back to ccss for bball training. Even through I only stayed as an observer. Got my $200 eagle award and bball shoe! Nice...

Evening went back to Bedok ktv and sing sing. Even through I just listen listen. After went to eat at Aston. And even after, went to bicycle park (how the hell u call it. zzz...) and slack there until night. Talked about shit and shit and more shit...

Bus home and here I am! Blogging about this shit. Gonna watch drama later on. Probably until quite late. Tomorrow got no shit plan at all. Maybe go back school bball...

This few days I feel damn fucked... Had this idea of myself being fucking irritating and annoying. Annoying the word keep reappearing. To the maximum extent. I am gonna go crazy. Never had this feeling before until those shit happen. Arghh damn. I can't stay this way. Fuck it man. Have to find back...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I AM FUCKING FRUSTRATED AT MYSELF...
=='' Fuck this peep until tomorrow!


_l_(-^^-)_l_
Jacks...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010; Miss

its not about how much he has given you, but how much you have shared.

The top quote is written by my cousin in facebook. Hah nice! Thumbs up!

Today had being a total disaster. Because I don't find the meaning of it. And just by this sentence, kindly dun say I am emo. Thanks.

I woke up at 635 but my alarm is set at 640. Believe me or not, but the alarm is not used. Hah I should do this whenever possible huh. Everyday!

Then I continue my sleep somehow until 2plus. Found out that my work start at 3. What the fuck... I rush preparing as I was just up from bed.

Once ready, cab to Furama Hotel. The peep there is friendly, and today was kinda special as no one is there to dine. So work from 3 to 7. Sucks huh.

Went back to Bedok eat alone and met Ming by chance. Followed him around to buy his stuff and head back home. Played dota with friends and damn didn't get to msn.

Damnnn! Regretted playing, haiz... Could have spent the time better. Anyway, am watching this drama "Autumn's Concerto". Paused it to blog about this. It's a nice show too, but kinda sad...

Tomorrow gonna meet up with ex-classmates around afternoon for ktv at Bedok... ktv sounds weird but heck care, that how they called it. Thus, am gonna miss bball training. Sorry guys!

Begin to start wondering about my future. What I really want is to become a game animator. Have really shrink it to such detail. Because I thought that Japanese anime is what I really want. But I am wrong, it's game animator. Fyi, there's a difference. Bye peeps! Until tomorrow... =]

Monday, January 4, 2010; Ack

Another day has past. One day follow by the other pass without that day telling me. Today isn't that great. Woke up at around 1pm. Then left for bball training in school at around 2pm.

Time flies and without me knowing, time has advanced to evening, went to cheers. Reminds me of almost everyday during last year. Standard huh. After, went back home and out again to buy dinner. Ate then use com all the way till now, 3am. Oww...

I gonna try out something later on. Weee... Wondering how it will go later on. Oh ya, tomorrow at 330pm gonna meet one guy call hong ding for work at Chinatown. I shall become a first timer and hopefully can get a pro partner...

Going for Ccas is not pathetic at all! Night peep! =D

Sunday, January 3, 2010; Opening

Today morning wake up by brother at 11plus to eat breakfast with family. Zzz. Freaking tired due to lack of sleep. Damn... -.-ll

So after eating, went back to bed to "sleep". Was msg-ing during the whole time so it became trying to fall asleep while chatting on bed. But it was worth it. The reason no need to say. Should know by now! ^^

Then around evening time, went to friend's house and went for work. Today work is fine, just that got lesser friends as usual to talk to. Kinda feels like a stranger over there. Lot of my classmates stopped working there. =(

Today when doing roll call-ing during work, msg snow about some things. Don't feel like digging your past out le now. Haha. But anything wanna know ask me ya! Hehe ...

Wondered how life has changed for me. It is thanks to all bros and friends that I became the Jackson I am today. And of course wondered a lot of other stuffs. Not gonna mention it here through... =x


Reached home at past midnight, had my stomach filled and watch Hi My Sweetheart ep10... Omg, I am addicted to it. I admit it okay! Time now is 4am and damn I wanna ep11! Drama just get better... Just like Anime! =]

Tomorrow afternoon gonna return back to school for bball training... Got 5% of me wanna see teacher. Got 90% of me wanna go bball training. Got 5% of me wanna see old friends. And for overall! Tadah... Got 100% of me wanna make myself as tired as possible... =/

Realise that Xue Hai or Da Lung in Hi My Sweetheart got the same Xue as snow! Sweet! It's like wow... Hehe. And snow is definitely cute! ><

Okay peep... Stay tune for my next update... I have all the time during midnight to morning to blog! My sleeping hours are completely screw up... Yay! ;D

And last thing, sorry for the font colour... I know it sucks. I just don't have the talent for colouring! Weee... Cheers!

And final final final! I wanna kill this person ---> idk.

Saturday, January 2, 2010; Hesitation

3rd of January...

Early morning went to Npcc campcraft training in school. Becoming darker and more tan, damn... Sunburn also... ==''

Early Afternoon was screw up so fuck it man! Freaking frustrated... =]

Afternoon was far better, went to Leung's house then to Pulau Ubin. Lunch there, it was fine, eating with my bros... Filled my stomach afterall! ^^

Then cycle around, enjoy the breeze and the scenery. Up-slope were zomfg and down-slope were phew... Haha taken some photos. =)

And and and of course msg-ing snow! =x


Night time we went back to the Leung's house and I watched Hi My Sweetheart. Damn have reach ep 9. And I heard that the next ep is release on Monday. =D

Tomorrow night gonna work at swiss. I also booked next week work which I think is kind of fucked-up. Tuesday afternoon 3-11 at Chinatown. Damn new place, hope things will be fine. Friday afternoon 5-11 at Outram park. Sunday 7-1130 at Swiss. ><

Sometimes when there is a option of which path to go. You will start to wonder where it will lead you to. Consider equal to chance? Weee... Wish I got the ability to read that person mind!

Friday, January 1, 2010; Annoyed

This few days, I get fucking super ultra easy to be irritated. So sorry guys if I shouted or hit at any living objects. Annoyed at myself. Haiz, enough of this. Next! ==''

Last night, went to countdown at Marina Square with all the tms sec people. Wait, I should start from morning... So played bball match, got a new couple of bros, I guess... The match was fine bah.

And let's see, yea the countdown. The firework is nice! So after that, went to Sim Pang Bedok eat. Cb the prata came 1 hour later. Then paid Dan cab at crossfire. Walked home with co. Had fun I guess... Reach home around 4 plus. Slept at 5 plus.

Then continuing, wake at afternoon, then went out with Ah Peng! Heh, went to parkway to buy his stuffs. Before that, I ate alone at the market. Found out I have being eating alone for most of the time. Damn...

Went to parkway, then went to Tamp1 and Tamp Mall to buy stuffs. Ate some korean food with him and finally back home. Bath and all of a sudden, fucking annoyed. Have no idea why.

Haiz... Why does it have to be family first, friends second. Or rather, why am I the opposite? How I wish things could get better. And happy new year bastards and bitches. Thanks you fuckers for making my 2009 fun. =D

Am watching drama again.