Well... Another day. Which is the 30th of Dec. December is gonna end soon. And things and stuffs are getting weirder to me. Maybe all the past feelings are gone. And I found myself different. Things are changing. That include emotion. By the way, me typing this way. Is Fucking Not Emo. =]

Heh today wake up at around afternoon time. Then shortly after, went to eat lunch with my dad. Hah long long time one time go eat with him. Found that only way to sustain my family is through eating. Weird huh. Then I did house cleaning for the whole day until evening then. Reason being, the house i gonna change clothes! Painting! Weee... =D

After cleaning, I watched drama. Can't believe right, Jackson watching drama... I must say that the world is spinning and rotating. One day pigs can fly too! Hehe, played a match of dota with 2 idiot. Ermmm then continue watch drama until around 230am. Addictive huh! Haha now watching "Hi My Sweetheart". Shall watch "Autumn Concerto" and "Momo Love" after. XD

People really do change me. I thought to myself. Why am I watching drama. Then why do I blog. And why do I watch anime. Hahaha motherfucker... Things is so gonna be so freaking different next year in school. Provided that I am not inside ccss anymore. But I will be back! Haha. Okay shall stop here because tomorrow there gonna be a bball match!

Chai Chee Secondary School playing against
Old's school+Boardrick Secondary School+Johnny's friends

To say the truth. I didn't want to blog because I love the song on the previous post. And and last thing. Welcome back all the people that went overseas. Best of luck to you guys! =p.

First thing first. I am not fucking emo! Drill it in your brain. Okay enough. ==''

And second thing. Stop fucking saying I act this or act that. I fucking had enough of that also. ==''

Finally third thing. Gonna summaries today! Or should I say ytd which is the 29 of Dec. Basically I wake up at 820am. Went for bball training, and played bball until around 2pm. Went home bath and take a nap until 4pm. Then finally had my first meal which is at around 5pm. Go for work then until 1130pm. Walk around Bedok for food until 1am. Back home use computer until 4am I guess.

Lastly which is fourth thing. How does Meteor sounds to you as a bball team name?

Things has being up and down recently for me...
Even through the wave is calm...
Not much stuffs going on...
Feel that I am being left behind...
Or am I advancing too fast...
Things are changing again...
Just like the past days...
It's always changing...
Not giving me enough time to react...
Do I even need to react in the first place...
Life is going sideways for me...
Have to click the refresh on my brain...

A new year is going to come!
Should I be happy or sad for it.
Everything is gonna change within a day.
I know something will happen.
Complicated mixed emotions. Weee...
I am tired... =]

Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart


Stop all the activity... Ignore all the existence... Be back myself...

26th December... Went for campcraft training, and obviously I was late by around 20 mins. It was fine I guess, taught my juniors lot of stuffs. Then chiong back home to meet up with mom and bro to head out to Bugis. However it started pouring, it's like wad the fuck. And throughout the day, there's a little argument here and there, but it is common I guess. =.=

And did I mention that I was awake at 730am and didn't have any food. Starving, we waited for the rain to be smaller. Then finally, went to Bugis to have dinner at some chinese restaurant the one at the corner. It was filling, like all the way up. Damn need to exercise le. Then my bro went to grandma house. My mom and me went back home... Guess wad, I am so sleepy I sleep immediately after reaching home. The time is like 6pm... ><

27th December... Weeee... I slept all the way till 1pm. Cool. Being long time since I sleep so long. I was really really very exhausted I think. Then wake le, kind of blur what the hell happened. After a while, on my computer and on maplestory. Hahaha... Don't ask why please. Maybe is natural reaction. A while later, proceed to Bedok interchange to have lunch, everything is like all of a sudden. ._.

Shop a little for the house and went back home, start playing maplestory again... What the hell is wrong with my life right? Kao... Then around night time, accompany my mom go Tamp for something. Come back alone to my house, which is empty, all went out. Eyer... Haiz...

Tomorrow morning gonna go ball. Heeeh. Long time no touch ball. Crap. Anyway will not be free on Tuesday and Sunday night.

Keep having the idea of today being Monday. Monday fast fast come. Which is tomorrow. Hehe... Endure endure. Time tough don't last, tough man do! =D

Yawn... Exhausted because not enough rest last night. Damn I need to sleep more. However, it was worth the time I guess... Haiz, I guess I overdid my actions for a bit. Need to pull back and think properly again. Anyway, things is getting better slowly... Even if it's ant movement, it is better...

On the 24 Dec was fun. Went to wild wild wet with my buddies... Anyway I will intro their name and know them as my buddies. Those few retards are Kai Yiu, Kai Ho and Wei Ming, that's all. So cab to wild wild wet as we were late, had a great time there as it is free. Thanks for a feller up there. Hehe...

After, cab to Parkway ajisen for dinner! Followed by snow ice. What the hell, I swear this month not gonna take a cab again. Unless urgent matters. Spend too much money... So then we went to play pool at Katong. By the way, my ear got infection, swollen like what the fuck. Hahaha...

On the 25 Dec was fun too. Went to have lunch with my brother. Then meet up with the usual one to play pool again. At the same table at the same place. It was fun! Hehe... After meet up with my buddies for dinner at Suntec City. Had some Asia food, forgotten the name le. Then walk the fountain of wealth thingy where people wish for stuffs... I wished and one of it is this "hope everyone that i know pass O level cause i dun wan to see anyone fail just like one of my bro did in N level."

After, went back to Bedok for supper and finally back home. And started playing Maplestory! Wow and surprise right?! Must admit I really wanna go back to old times. Where playing maple is such an enjoyment and furthermore, it is a super slow pace game... Finally reach level 15 in a few hours. Will continue play when I am free. Hehe...

And talk about a bit of tomorrow. The time now is gonna to be 3am. And I need to be awake at 7am later... Which is 4 hours. God... Just kill me please someone... Anyway going for a sun tanning session. Npcc campcraft! Going back to help out on the unit... Heh going to catch my sleep like now! Bye peep... Until the next time.

I didn't want to be mistaken... At any cost. I know the way I form my sentence suck big time. And so that's how I get into big and small stuffs... But that's how I am... Stupid me. ==''

And yet another post by Jackson. Well today's post is created in the afternoon because someone went to watch Avatar! And it is around 3 hours long... Damn, it will finish in another hour time I guess. Faster faster! =(

So on Monday, had my first left ear piercing at tamp! Went with someone and it's not that painful man! Damn you! Keep laughing, at least I didn't cry okay! Hehe... Thanks lah huh. After went to watch movie. Being so long since I watch any movie or show except for animes. Then after then send her back and went home. Fun day! =D

And on Tuesday, morning went for bball training, afternoon went out with my bros to tamp, night time went to coach area for night bball game. Morning training was fine, afternoon movie was okay, night game was not good. Went home then play impossible quiz. It is like commit suicide game. Haha. Funny! Spend whole midnight playing it... Thanks to this xuetin. Hehe... ^^

And on Wednesday, morning still half sleeping. Hahha. Afternoon at home use com. Haven't eat my lunch. Aww man, just skip it and wait for dinner! Weee... Easier that way. Night gonna stay at home as well. Hungry... ==''

Number has increase to 510.
Wondering if it can really hit 4 digit or not...
So what am I gonna do with it after I receive it?! ._.

Sometimes I can't breathe and I wonder how I can save myself...

Phew. Didnt update for like 2 or 3 days?. Nevermind, here to type a few words. Recently just get to understand something about myself. Not gonna post it up here through. Hehe... Holidays are ending soon for the sec3 people. =]

As for me... I have a longer holiday which extend all the way till around Feb? Not too sure through, gonna continue to work and try go out with new friends? Hehe... My personal goal for next year, gain back confidence and braveness. And the other, set some more goals for myself. =)

And lastly, congrats to those that make it to sec5. And those that didnt make it, do consider what you gonna do for now huh. Kinda boost me morale up for my Os results. Glad that all my bros get promoted except for one. Damn fuck... And hey gotta confess something here! ^^

Even through I always say I will get 8 to 10 points for my Os, it's actually okay for me to get a score of 16 points. Reason is simple, the course requirement I wanted is not as high as it is. I didn't know how much I wanted to score as I didn't know what course I wanna take before my Os. So I aim as low as possible. Hahaha... XD

Life has become interesting for me. Just recently, two days ago? Funny that I am able to hook people to me. Hehe... Only those that I feel like telling plus when I ran out of story then I will tell. Is like haha damn... I wanna be a girl! *wink*

And and and... Know I shouldn't interfere, but a bit won't die. Nigel and Aron chill down man. Brothers for so long le, quarrel so many times le. Everyone knows everyone pattern de wad. Relax and talk properly la... Like what you guys always did. =[

Okay. Post is coming to an end. The 3 digit number has become 485. It is slowly advancing to 4 digit. Weeee.... Stay tune people. =D

I am a fucker that is physically and mentally weak, I think... I always fucking tend to give things up very easily. Take the freaking running for example. I swear I stopped and walked for at least 5 mins thinking of this weird depressing sentence, "why am I running, why, why, why". Chicken... In the past, I have a reason for running, to aim for top10 for cross country.

Due to that reason, I tried working hard, but failed miserably. Will never forget the last moment of getting placing 11. Fucking weak and stupid position. Damn dumb fucker me. Just show how weak I am. But then what about now, up till now, I still cannot find the perfect reason to work so hard... Was so troubled over the reason during the run till I decided to wonder and think of the reason after it, then I continue running toward the end.

What I am trying to reason out is, everyone does something for a reason. Regardless clever or stupid, have a positive or negative effect, good outcome or bad outcome, it has a purpose and reason behind it. Sorry the above example is too indirect. But if your like the kind of me that does something stupid or silly or ridiculous stuffs, then be prepare to be caught by the police or be prepare to face something negative or something you have never expected to happen.

Tomorrow N level result will be release. Going to school to see who failed. Weee... Finally huh. It will be exciting man, tomorrow!

the 3 digit number has increase to 435...
wondering if i can hit it to 4 digit or not...

Until you come back by Akon... Nice song! Thank Johnny for reminding. =O


Today morning went to run 9.8km. Afternoon meet up with my bros to play billiard. Night went to Marina Square eat steamboat! Overall, it was fun... Even through went home quite early, around 1030pm. ^^

And one more fucking thing, I am fucking getting chee bye sick. Damn sorethroat and cold... Wish someone could have knock me out with a hammer or something. Maybe bang wall? Tomorrow going to bring some people along to my workplace. XD

Wonder if there is any chance of returning, even if it's 0.1% chance of you coming back, I will be glad to fight for it. Realise ytd that in the past, you have given me tons of chances, just that I didn't grab hold tightly of you. =)

Maybe things were bit too messy for you and me in the past. No one knows what we really wanted. Neither do us, we kept too much things, not letting each other knowing. Remember about clearing the messy life you had and make it simple? At least now your not lying to yourself. So all is good! I guess... =]

It's not about the post being emo. That is how I post things. It may be fucking emo to you but it looks okay to me. Maybe my english standard too low to make it cheerful huh! Have to add more vulgar to looks more happy ah. ==''

Wee... Today morning 8 plus wake up go bball training. Afternoon around 1 plus went to meet up with Guanan, Danah, Ronald, Rashana, not forgetting Desiree! Our lunch was at KFC, damn fast food. Hate it...

Anyway, cab down to ECP and met up with some more people. Went back home early around 5 plus as there's family dinner. Play ps3 until around 7 plus then make my way to ECP again! Some strangers were there, I didn't know them.

Surprising, the 6 sister were there. Wad de motherfuck. I had lot of fun with my classmates, have to admit... Wonder when I will meet with them again. Soon I hope! Later sent Liwei back home and agree to Danah for a run later at 8am.

It's 1am now and I will have 7 hours of sleep! Weee... Not enough sleep again damn. Will sleep for around 6 hours. Need to prepare before heading out. And night time will have dinner with my buddy. Heeee...

Realise I think too much... Reading our past conversation now. It was like wow... We chat everyday from evening to midnight... Things has really changed. I was so close man... Everything is so serious and all. All the fights and quarrel. Stupid me, so don't understand you. Haiz... 5/23/09. How the hell we managed to pull it through huh. The past is so interesting! You even ask "no matter what happen, will we still be friend?", but I guess you forgotten already. Hah.

Joke of the day - I am working at the hotel, $6 per hour, wanna hire me? =p

Wishing that I can have the power to change things back to the way it is.
Or maybe things are already this way long before I know...

Things just don't go according to expected.
Or is there even any expectation to follow or accomplish...

I am not being forgiven after all this time.
Or maybe saying forgotten is a easier way out...

I realise a human purpose is to stay happy and cheerful. Afterall, it is why everyone is working so hard for. Who love to stay sad and being emotional huh... No one.

Had no idea what I am typing. Any living soul nothing to do. Help me explain what I have just wrote. In fact just elaborate it for me, thanks.

Okay from here, let's talk about some sensible stuff. Over the past few months. I learn lots of stuff about human being. There are different kinds but I am going to talk about people like Dan and Me! Not trying to boost us being good or what.

But we are the sort that rather don't talk at all than to complain A to Z. We listen to all kinds of shit, positive or negative. But end of day, we decide whether to agree or disagree on it. It short, we take in advise, good or bad. And obviously we try to become a better person! Cheers... =]

Suddenly remember you saying in the past why you give one word reply.
First - You are in a very bad mood or rather no mood.
Second - He did something wrong and you bu shaung him.
Third - You can't be bothered at all by his actions and words.
Fourth - He did a scar on you and you cannot forgive him at all.

Hope I am thinking too much. Weee.... Bball bbq house dinner tomorrow. Busy day it gonna be... XD

Wooo... This is my dream! See video in link below!

Click Here or Here or Here or Here.

Post will continue tonight or tomorrow early 12 midnight. =]

Time now is 2am plus going to 3am. Let's see, Around 2pm ytd, went to play bball in mpcc... It was terrible, playing as the point guard on a 5v5 match. Realised that I have not improve at all. Not even a tiny slightest bit. Wonder what is all the training for.

Kind of hard and sad to believe that I cannot lead 5 players down the court despite thinking that I can. Guess this is what happen to someone like me who always treat and think things easily. It don't feel good to know that no one understand your mood at all and stuff.

For people who want to understand me, try thinking that you are a commando in a battlefield, and you lost all your objective, comrade. Not just that, trusts, believes and confidences are lost as well. Alone in the battlefield, no one to share emotions and things, it's plain metal.

Is like, the lack of ability to gain something what I truly wanted. No matter how much I long for it, I will not get it. As simple as that. It has always being the same, ever since I was a child. Nevermind, shall aim and work towards it.

After the bball, cab down to City Hall for work. Talked to the uncle in the cab, saying he was a bball coach in the past, and how he say about how to play bball. Listen listen, then he talk about talented players, I was like, uncle I lost like a noobass fucker just now, and you talk about this now, ccb... By the way, I didn't tell him that. Respect...

Work until 1130pm. Today I realise that it is freaking easy to get a boy girl relationship during working or after working. Is like, extremely easy to hook someone in my workplace, okay maybe not that easy. As simple as that, is like there are chances. Lots of chances to grab or release. More and more doors are opening. However, I will not get one because I will not get one. Haha...

Today I thought to myself, how a couple can still stay together when one is in one country, while the other is on the other country. It is like lying. Damn... And I wonder how the guy can actually be able to stand and bear the girl to fly to some other country for further studies. Is like won't see each other for months or years. Isn't that a unstoppable force breakup or something. Maybe I am still a boy, so I dunno all this. ^^

Way back into love...


Don't write me off just yet...



Beautiful songs from Music and Lyric. A really thumb up movie I watched.

哈哈。Damn, I failed, miserably. Thought of using Chinese for this entire post but it cannot be done. It's impossible. Stuck immediately after the first two letter. Anyway tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, Sat and Sun, I will be working in the night.

And good news for everyone, receive study, EAGLE award, $200 in my pocket on January. Weee... Proud! Thanks for encouraging me to study and threatening not to talk to me in the past. Not for those shit, I might not study for my Prelim 2 and O level. And obviously not getting the award. Heee... Motivation and morale seriously will help in pushing oneself out of our limit and improve greatly. Thanks you.

Next Tues will be out for whole day I guess. Will post what gonna happen after it. Wed going for steamboat with my feller best friends! Canceled my work that day just to eat with you guys. You guys dare pai sei or say dun wan go I punch your face and rape your ass personally. Follow tightly after, Thur, Fri, Sat and Sun all working in the night.

Today I realise something, which is probably crap that everyone know. But a gentle reminder won't hurt right? People only appreciate or regret over what they or other people done after they lost it. It's kinda stupid now that I thought of it. Because I didn't appreciate what I have in the past. And obviously regretting doing saying playing fucking screwing and of course, being unreasonable. Who cares now I type all this.

Another things I notice which is very important. Human feelings can really be ignore at time or in fact, everytime! Just like how I always treat people, for most of the time. My friends should know that I don't care about their feelings at all and spill out whatever is in my mind. Those who know me well enough should know that. Even if it is on purpose and you know it. I would still like to say a "Sorry I really mean it" or a "Sorry I dun mean it", or a "Sorry I mean it the other way". Because this three sentence won't come out from my mouth. And remembered I tend to say this "I am a honest boy, no point lying to you". This is purely a excuse to cover up for my fucking attitude. So bear with me lady and gentleman. Hehee...

Wee... Three days never post forget wanna write wad le. Lost the passion to blog I guess... Nevermind will still try and squeeze out some words here.

Today bball in the morning. Lie down on bed for whole afternoon. Bball in the night again. That it for the day. Tomorrow gonna be a bad day for me I think. Haha.

Anyway the number has gone up to 370. Hmm... What else can I type here? Started listening to all the english songs again. Maybe because they are fine. Lol random, I just realise. So skip this part and let me move to another section.

Let's talk about my dream. Might be boring for you readers, but who cares. Young I wanted to be policeman. But now, lol lucky it is a dream. Don't think a lot people know about my past experiences, not gonna talk about it. Want know go find out your own.

So now, current dream. I wanna go to a course call Moving Image, a design course in TP. It will not be easy at all. In fact, it will be fucking difficult. Basically, I can be a animator as a future job and blablabla. And that's what I am going to achieve.

However that's not all, I wanna help design a game and under the section animation, it shall be my name! Be part of the development team or something like that. It's a dream however... Will work towards it huh.

By the way, it's not all the camera work, it's all the computer work. So yeah, I wanna join Square Enix, so I will have to learn Japanese too in polytechnic if possible. Now this post is lot more interesting! Proud of myself. By the way, a reminder, it is a dream.

Not forgetting basketball. No idea how to walk this path. So it will be a side dream. But will train and play it as my core sport. Heeee... With this I end this post. Take care everyone. Do die early.

*Realised I bullshit-ed too much. Sorry for this boring post. =]

Things will never be the same again. Screw it and move on is what I will do.

Today happening. Morning wake up went to Tekong as my brother has graduated from Basic Military Training. Stayed all the way till evening then dinner at Pasir Ris.

Enough words, photo time.

Full of green army...

No need explain.

Brother and meee... =]

No idea what is going on now. Confused over stuffs and stuffs. Got no chance to talk to you. Basically have no aim and target now. Only purpose I have for around one year is gone I guess. Funny thing is it cannot be make better. Living dead zombie can be use to describe me. Have brain but not using it at all.



Want to ask about the ring. But has no chance at all. Don't think that you have the mood anyway. Scare I ruin it again. Haha. Sign... Take care of it. It's your birthday gift. Sorry!

Remembered that funny way of you calling me in secondary school "TNX!!!" make me smile whenever I thought of it. Your the only one that called me that. Lol! Nice memories. =]

begin to open up my heart slowly bit by bit le. gonna become that old crazy fucking bastard jackson toh nan xing soon. give me a while more and i prove it.

3 digit number --> 350 (gonna make it to 4 digit)
i'll review what the number is when it become 4 digit. <3

This few days have being thinking...
Without a slightest trace of you around...
How much things has change for me...
Occasionally my mind will think of meaningful quote...
Too much for me to note down in here...


One man makes a loner who is weak, useless and pitiful at all times.

Two man makes a couple which is strong, brave and inseparate when held tightly.

Three man and more makes a team which is say to be united, powerful and fearless.

Humans live to eat. Without eating, people will stave and die eventually.

Having something rare, special or unique will cause others to be jealous.
Saying not jealous when asked is obviously a lie.
No one have a heart of gold which can have this function, see and go.


Wondering how I am going to spend my future time.
According to my brother situation, I wonder if I will break down and malfunction.
Perhaps I will change and adapt to it. Who knows huh...

Carried out my plan. Morning went out eat with bro and dad. Weee... Bought Gta4 and earpiece. Cb third time buy same de earpiece what the fuck... Stayed at home use ps3 and computer for whole day.

Thanks for all the bday wish.

Now gonna write down next week plan and activity.
Monday work night.
Tuesday bro passing out parade.
Wednesday work morning.
Thursday bball.
Friday free.
Saturday work night.
Sunday work night.





Feel that you and me have being lying to ourselves for a long time in order to stay happy and cheerful. It's all fake. Can't keep it up, it's tiring... When is the last time you are really really happy huh. Try and recall...

Weee... 3am and still here. Here to upload photo of me me me and me.

The afternoon Jack!

The afternoon Jack!

The night Jack!

The night Jack!

*Black, White and Purple is being loved... =]

Here's the summary of today.

Morning wake went to bball training at coach area. Have got more people for training so it is fun! It is always fun when there is a ball around.

Afternoon played ps3. Bro bought Enchanted 2 while I was balling in the morning. Went home like what the hell... Another game. Haha. Okay start immediately!

Evening went to work at city hall all the way until midnight. Work today is extremely relaxing and easy. Two person serve one table. Woohooo... After went back home.

Midnight played ps3. Played Assassin Creed 2 this time. All the way till he say he is tired. Wahaha... Last man standing is me! Still here to upload photos and update blog. ^^

No idea why, but the feeling I have now is a fully completely open heart. Unlike the past few months. Now feel damn relief and comfortable. Hopefully it will not turn back any sooner. Funny thing is not because of anyone through. Maybe I am just glad that I was born to see this world. Mood now is kinda cheerful! XD

Later plan is... Morning go out with bro to eat breakfast and to buy my selected gift, a earpiece! Lost mine few days ago. Grrgh... And let's see... Afternoon all the way camp at home. That's the plan for now! That's all readers. Bye bye... Until tomorrow end. =]

Thinking back about the past may not be a bad thing. At least there are times when we joke and laugh. It all started with a random yet interesting and will never forget word "library". Will never forget that's the first time I solo and went out with a girl. In fact, with anyone except for my mother! Hehee. However, things don't work this way. Weee.... Wonder if everything is good for you or not. Must be good because in newspaper never see you. Wahaha... Not gonna continue this post, I scare it might continue all the way till tomorrow. Dare to post, dare to let people see. =)

As the title say, random photos... Just some through, never take lot of it. =p

Start of with random photo. Winter... =]

Loving happy four gays... Watching bball match. XD

Me playing taptap. Losing Dan currently. Freak...

Me and Shana! 4eb gathering.

Shana and Desiree! 4eb gathering.

Tian Qi and mee...

Eating bbq at geylang. =)

That's all for now. Taking lesser photo as days goes... =D

Woohooo! After another long day. Finally back to the same old location, home. Woke at 530am for ytd and today. Basically today was no different from ytd except for the night part. Went to eat with my mom at City Hall, bought some clothes and back home. That is about it. =)

Recently being thinking all day long. How it will be if I am not me, I am others instead. How I will react to stuffs and all. It kind of make sense after I think of all this. I didn't smile, laugh and joke as much now as it bring back past memories. Walking back the roads reminds me of a lot of things. Happy, unhappy. It can be prevented, but I screw it up, unfortunately. XD

Watashi gonna write some random quotes which all of a sudden pop out of my mind, so pay attention people. It is not gonna be long. =]

I may not be right, but it does not prove that you are right.
Lying to myself is difficult and almost impossible, but can be done.
Organising time properly is essential to win everything.
Start to think positively after every unexpected stuff that happened.
There is always people living in a far worst condition than us.
After every dark cloud comes a bright sun, but always stay alert.
Beware of the thunder clouds that is coming the second next.
Winners are not afraid of losing, losers are.

Okay peep got to go, bball game gameeee.... back then continue. XD

edited* The bball game is fine. Gonna sleep now! Waking at 530am tomorrow, same as ytd. Freaking tired now to think of anything. So goodbye peep, get ready for my next post. =)

Hope you are doing fine. Haizzz...

Must be tough to maintain a life this way huh... =)